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Limiting thoughts and doubts aren't based on truth—they're based on fear.
In this episode of Recounting Life Lessons, we're joined by Dr. Audrey Schnell, a coach who helps ambitious professionals identify and overcome the hidden fears sabotaging their success.
If you've ever felt stuck, struggled with follow-through, or doubted your ability to succeed despite knowing better—you're not alone. Tune in as Dr. Schnell shares with us the subtle ways that fear-based thinking might be running the show in our lives and what we can do about it.
Listen now if you're ready to uncover hidden fears, rewire your thinking, and finally take bold, empowered action.
5 signs fear-based thinking is holding you back—and what to do about it
Fear is sneaky. It doesn't always show up as panic or anxiety. Sometimes, it sounds like logic or feels like procrastination. But when fear is running the show, it can quietly stall your growth and keep you playing small. Here are 5 ways that fear might be showing up in your life—and how you can start shifting it to something more empowering:
- You Talk Yourself Out of Things Before You Even Start. If you've ever thought, "Who am I to do this?" or "What if I fail?"—that's fear creeping in. It's usually rooted in a desire to protect ourselves, but more often than not, it keeps us stuck. The key is to catch it in the moment, call it what it is, and move forward anyway—even if it's messy and you're feeling uncertain.
- You Keep Setting the Same Goal—But Never Follow Through. This isn't about laziness. A lot of the time, this kind of loop is actually tied to a fear of success and the unknowns and commitments that will come along with it. Maybe you've been holding back because deep down, success might require changes and commitments you're not sure you're ready for. Ask yourself: what would actually change if I succeeded—am I afraid of that? This is also why it is so valuable to begin with the end in mind.
- You Procrastinate, Overthink, or Stay "Too Busy". Busy can be a great disguise for fear. It can feel like you're doing something, but deep down, you're stuck in a cycle of avoidance. And if the actions you're taking look like preparing and bettering yourself and your circumstances instead of doing what's actually going to move the needle, you're getting wrapped up in what we like to call productive procrastination or A++ Actions. There are two types of actions we can take: A++ Actions and Achieving Actions. If the goal is to drive across the country, A++ Actions look like adding gas to a car, souping up the engine, upgrading the car, and improving yourself as a driver. These actions make the drive possible, more enjoyable, and efficient. On the other hand, Achieving Actions would be getting in the car and driving it toward your end destination. You need both, but there is a point where A++ Actions are no longer a need and they become a distraction. Practice assessing the actions you take to be sure that you haven't gotten yourself caught up in productive procrastination and make it a priority to take achieving actions every day.
- You Wait for Perfect Clarity or Confidence Before Acting. Here's the reality: we almost never feel fully ready. Fear tells us we need to have it all figured out before we begin. But clarity and confidence come after you take that action. Start before you're ready—and trust that you can adjust as you go. If you are too overwhelmed to even make a decision on where to start, grab our Empowered Action Framework for free here. It will walk you through a 60 second process to help you make a decision and move you into action.
- You Avoid Asking for Help or Avoid Being Seen. Whether it's a fear of being judged, a fear of failure, or not wanting to be a burden, staying hidden can feel safer. But appeasing those fears won't get you what you want. Ask for help or get a coach. Having someone in your corner who sees your potential can be the game-changer you didn't realize you needed. Sometimes borrowing someone else's belief in you is all you need to get you to the next level.
More about dr. audrey schnell & Resources Mentioned:
Dr. Audrey Schnell has an M.A. in Clinical Psychology and a Ph.D. in Epidemiology and Biostatistics. She has been studying why and how people change for over 40 years. She enables her clients to end self sabotage, stop derailing themselves, master their emotions and reach their goals. She helps people see the blind spots that are costing them money and helps them eliminate emotional triggers so they can reach their potential, create long-term client relationships, and even turn difficult clients into success stories.
Learn more about Dr. Schnell and find out how to work with her at her website: audreyschnell.com
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Main Takeaways & Golden nuggets from this episode:
This episode was rich with insights, but here are five standout takeaways that we believe are especially powerful if you're ready to overcome the fears that are holding you back and start achieving.
- Growth Requires Letting Go of Who You Used to Be. Growth and transformation requires us to shed outdated beliefs and identities that no longer serve us. Just like in the Hero's Journey, we must face and release the old version of ourselves to step into something greater.
- Fear of the Unknow is Often the Real Obstacle. What paralyzes most people isn't failure—it's uncertainty. Fear of the unknown can manifest in various ways and sometimes we don't even realize that it's happening. It can contribute to, or be the root of, feelings like self-doubt and fear of rejection. Stepping into a new reality, achieving a significant goal, or becoming a different version of ourselves inherently involves moving into uncharted territory, which can trigger this fundamental fear.
- You Grow Faster When You Surround Yourself With People Who Stretch You. Stop trying to be the smartest or most comfortable person in the room. Seek out circles that challenge you to level up. Discomfort is a powerful teacher. If Dr. Schnell hadn't married her husband she would have never experienced life on a sailboat or sailing around the world.
- Beware of Limiting Labels. Labels—especially from many popular personality assessments—can offer insight, but they can also box us in. Statements like "I can't do that because I'm an introvert" become self-imposed boundaries and limits. It's important to question whether the labels we've adopted are helping us grow—or keeping us stuck. What labels are you using as a reason to avoid growth?
- What Some Call Limiting Beliefs are Actually Underlying Fears. Dr. Schnell explained that when people are asked if they believe 100% that their limiting beliefs are true they typically respond by saying they aren't, but they are afraid that they might be true. This suggests that what is perceived as a "limiting belief" is often an underlying fear or feelings that the doubt may hold some truth. It is a fear of "what if it's true", but it's not an actual belief.
"There were clearly two types of people, those who worked on their boat and those that sailed it."
For an in-depth exploration of these takeaways and more, be sure to listen to the full episode below.
Tips for applying these takeaways:
Want to apply these insights to your life and unlock their real value? Here are some actionable steps you can take to help you do so.
This week, notice where old beliefs, outdated labels, or fears of the unknown are quietly steering your decisions. Growth often begins the moment we pause and say—"Wait, does this still serve me?"
Ask yourself:
- What version of "me" am I still holding onto that no longer fits where I'm headed?
- Where am I choosing comfort or certainty over growth?
- Am I surrounding myself with people who challenge and stretch me—or just validate who I've always been?
- Are the labels I've adopted empowering me or excuses to not step out of my comfort zone?
- What fears might be hiding behind the doubts I've labeled as "truth"?
Then, flip the script. Choose one limiting or fear-based thought and reframe it with a more empowering "What if..." question. If your doubts are saying, "You're a failure", ask yourself, "What if I'm a winner?" And let that more empowering question move you into action instead of allowing the doubts to keep you stuck. Growth doesn't always feel comfortable—but it is clarifying, energizing, and empowering.
If you're ready to get unstuck and start taking winning actions, listen now!
final thoughts: your future self is counting on you
Fear isn't the enemy—it's a messenger. But when it runs unchecked, it keeps you playing small. The real growth happens when you stop waiting for confidence, clarity, or permission, and decide to move forward anyway. Don't let fear run the show and keep you from becoming your best self. Your future self is counting on your courage to move through or around those fears to take winning action.
Stay tuned for more inspiring episodes as we and people from all walks of life share their experiences and we identify the lessons, blessings, and success principles that life is providing—lessons that we can all take advantage of and learn from if we pay attention.
If you're ready to step into your full potential, make sure to listen to the episode and share it with someone who could benefit from this powerful message. And don't forget to subscribe to Recounting Life Lessons and jump onto our Insider email list for more insights, actionable tips, and empowering stories.
We are Sione & Alana
Co-Hosts and Owners of
Recounting Life Lessons
We're a married couple from Hawaii who are now living in Vancouver, Washington.
Two things that we are passionate about are:
1) Uncovering the success principles and life lessons that help us all grow into our best selves.
Our favorite ways to uncover success principles and life lessons are by sharing stories from our own adventures and interviewing inspiring guests from all walks of life on our podcast.
2) Making personal growth and consistently leveling up in your life simple and sustainable, no matter what your circumstances are.
We take special care to craft the programs and resources we create, in a way, that keeps things simple and easy to follow-through on.
Through our blog, podcast, courses, and programs, we aim to empower you to grow into your best self, live with purpose, and make a meaningful impact on the world around you.
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