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What would you do if a car accident left you with a scar across your face?
That's exactly what happened to Peculiar Medinus, a Nigerian author, career coach, and former journalist, and it led her to ask one life-changing question: "What does ugly mean to you?"
In this conversation, Peculiar shares the lessons and experiences that shaped her journey and how she came to see beauty from God's perspective.
Alana also shares some insights and lessons on how the meanings of the words we hear and use shape our reality, where those meanings come form, and how to choose meanings that will empower us.
Listen now if you've ever struggled with the way you see yourself
In this episode:
- Why defining ugliness as harmful choices, and not just appearance, shifts everything
- The inner virtues that reveal true beauty
- The personal story behind What Ugly Means to You, and how a scar became a symbol of survival and purpose
- How to see beauty through God's perspective and embrace authenticity without hiding your light
Tune in if you've ever wanted to see more of the beauty in your life's experiences and story
Resources Mentioned:
- Peculiar's Website: https://peculiarpages.co.uk/
- Her Book: Get What Does Ugly Mean here
A FEW Takeaways & Golden nuggets of wisdom from this episode:
This episode was rich with insights, here are a few of them:
The meanings we give words shape our perceptions and experiences of reality
Blame narrows our vision, while curiosity expands it. When we stop trying to figure out who or what's at fault, and step back to allow ourselves to see what's really going on, we make room for new understanding and creative solutions to be realized.
Ugly is beyond appearances
The language we use has the power to heal or to harm. Words can keep people stuck in shame or help them think in more empowering ways. The way we talk about something shapes the way we and others think about it.
Golden Nugget 3: Embrace Both/And Thinking
The world isn't black and white. Two things can be true at the same time. When we let different perspectives challenge and expand our ways of seeing and thinking, it can help us move from opposition and division to understanding and solutions.
"You're not ugly until you tell yourself you are ugly." -Peculiar Medinus
Ideas for applying these takeaways:
Want to apply these insights to your life? Here are some actionable steps you can take today:
- Start noticing when your critic shows up: Write down the negative self-talk and reframe it into a constructive or neutral statement. For example, replace "I'm not good enough" with "I'm learning and growing."
- Do something you love: Identify one activity this week that excites you for no other reason than that you enjoy it. Track how it makes you feel compared to a task you "have to" do.
- Assess your goals: Ask yourself, "If no one else knew or judged me, would I still want this?" Reassess your current goals and identify why you have them and which of them are truly things that you want.
- Reframe a responsibility: Take one recurring task you dread and reframe it: "I have to do laundry" can become "I get to care for my home and family today."
- Try logging: Take time to log the good, the wonderful, and the done throughout the day and make note of how you felt during those moments.
- Pay attention to how your inner critic shows up: Does your inner critic show up as self-criticism, playing small, settling, conforming, or putting everyone else's needs before your own? Awareness is the first step in quieting the critic and reframing the feedback it give you.
And for even more tips, be sure to grab a copy of Sue's book, Lose Your Inner Critic For Good.
Listen now to reframe obligations, discover what truly drives you, and create space for joy in your daily life
final thoughts:
The meanings we give to words shape our perceptions and experience of reality.
Sometimes the actual meanings and definitions of the words we use get bogged down by social or political baggage and the actual and exact meanings of the words get lost.
But ultimately, we are the masters of our reality and we have the final say in what meanings we'll allow to stick and carry weight.
As Peculiar so beautifully articulated, some of those meanings will be more empowering than others.
So here's an invitation and opportunity to pause an ask yourself about where the meanings you've accepted come from.
Is it the dictionary? Society? God?
And are those meanings leaving you feeling empowered or helpless?
Stay tuned for more inspiring episodes as we and people from all walks of life share their experiences and we identify the lessons, blessings, and success principles that life is providing—lessons that we can all take advantage of and learn from if we pay attention.
If you're ready to step into your full potential, make sure to listen to the episode and share it with someone who could benefit from this powerful message. And don't forget to subscribe to Recounting Life Lessons and jump onto our Insider email list for more insights, actionable tips, and empowering stories.
We are Sione & Alana
Co-Hosts and Owners of
Recounting Life Lessons
We're a married couple from Hawaii who are now living in Vancouver, Washington.
Two things that we are passionate about are:
1) Uncovering the success principles and life lessons that help us all grow into our best selves.
Our favorite ways to uncover success principles and life lessons are by sharing stories from our own adventures and interviewing inspiring guests from all walks of life on our podcast.
2) Making personal growth and consistently leveling up in your life simple and sustainable, no matter what your circumstances are.
We take special care to craft the programs and resources we create, in a way, that keeps things simple and easy to follow-through on.
Through our blog, podcast, courses, and programs, we aim to empower you to grow into your best self, live with purpose, and make a meaningful impact on the world around you.
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